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You can’t imagine it, the singer remarks. At that moment preparing for her comeback record in eight years, ecstatically in love with her newish partner, and at long last the mother of a toddler after dealing with conception issues for ten years, on top of the world. Then in March she was found to have a breast cancer diagnosis.

The musician, actual name Jess Cornish, is famous for speaking her mind. The LP, Don’t Tease Me With a Good Time, was meant as an transparent story, tackling every bit of hardship she’d endured since she last made an album (endometrial issues, miscarriage, unsuccessful partnerships, psychological manipulation, suicidal thoughts) with typical candour. The lead track, the song No Secrets, was dropped in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. The illness. Then follow-up track, Living My Best Life, debuted in late spring and the artist was giving interviews about how she was enjoying life to the fullest, while still secretly dealing with her cancer. Four weeks after she went public, and in July she had a mastectomy.

She gives me her best “What the fuck?” glance. “I put out with a song called the track No Secrets. I’m giving every interview, and they’re, like, ‘So what’s new with you?’ and I respond, ‘Uh, nothing really’” Cornish has just had to postpone shows because she’s awaiting follow-up surgery.

We’re at a photography studio in the capital. She is sporting a beige fake-leather jacket, blue jeans with detailed white appliqués, cream boots and large glasses. Picture rocker vibe meets vintage look. “As if I’m in the seventies and I should have a man with facial hair.” A biker reference, I say, thinking of the picture. “They used to call me that!” She beams. She is sharp-witted, unfiltered and filter-free. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is planning to attempt her first comedy performance soon. “I love making people laugh. When performing I often tease the fans.”

Health Struggles and Diagnosis

Cornish was getting ready for an slot at the Baftas when she noticed an abnormality. “I promptly visited to get it looked at, had an ultrasound, and they said, ‘It appears fine; your breasts are normal.’ And I was, like, ‘But I can feel it. I have arm pain and numbness in my fingers whenever I get up.’ And they said, ‘How about a biopsy?’ That was 28 March, the day after my birthday.” It was a Friday. The doctor told her if it was serious she’d call on the start of the week. By then she had assured herself it was fine. The way she explains it, it was inopportune to face illness when she had many commitments.

“It was a fortnight prior from launching this thing after eight years without an album and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Can you talk at six?’ And I assumed, ‘It’s virtual, probably routine.’ So I log in thinking it’s all going to be good, and she goes, ‘Are you sitting down?.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘I regret to inform you but your test results have indicated aggressive cancer.’” How did you respond? “I answered, ‘Well, that’s not great. That’s not fucking great timing.’ Immediately I felt was, ‘I have to survive for my boy.’”

I’ve been labeled difficult for knowing myself

She found the surgery frightening and surreal. “I dislike anesthesia. You’re escorted. You know when you have emergency surgery you are wheeled, but now I just strolled down with a gown on and my backside out. You feel like you’re in an episode of Black Mirror.” But, Cornish says, she’s been fortunate. Without chemo or radio, just the procedure. “Cancer sucks, man, but you know what? Thank fuck I found it early. I underwent removal four months ago and my one side now resembles a odd shape.” Another grin. “At least the nipple remains.”

The follow-up procedure is therapeutic and aesthetic. Her breasts, she remarks, are now “different sizes. They didn’t do an implant as small as my original. That’s impolite! I felt, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. Such disrespect! Ironically I said I’d not undergo augmentation because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”

A History of Health Challenges

Cornish is familiar with health problems. She believes her outlook on her diagnosis has been so positive because she’s experienced in physical challenges. Many times they occur alongside peak moments, functioning as a wake-up call, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Honestly, I feel life goes, ‘You having a good time? Sit down.’ Ever since I was a child, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”

She reminisces to her childhood, already beginning starring in the West End in the production (she was chosen at the age of nine years old). That’s when she was told about the medical problem WPW, which can cause a rapid pulse as well as lightheadedness and heart flutters. “I rehearsed between visits on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward six years, and young Jessica has entered the girl group Soul Deep while studying at the performing arts school. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in the year 2020 I had a collision and my larynx moved up and I lost my voice for a year.”

Oi, I say, wait, I am overwhelmed. At just 17? She nods|agrees